After the Hurt – Take Responsibility for Healing Yourself


On a recent rainy day, I found the perfect little place with the best pour over coffee to sit and let the words flow. My goodness it feels good to write again. Work has consumed me for so many months, that I have not had the extra time.  As you all know, I tend to write about my incredibly ridiculous thoughts and ramblings of the mind. Sometimes, I write after deep conversations with family and friends. Sometimes, it’s self reflection. So here it is. (I know a couple of my friends I recently spoke who could use this.)

They say that 99% of the time, we are hurt by someone we know. The pain you feel becomes extremely worst when your understanding of “hurt” vastly differs.

You look back. You question all of the why’s, when’s, and how’s. You wonder if you could have communicated more clearly. You wonder if your actions gave mixed signals. You wonder about all of the things you contributed to the hurt. You wonder if they feel the pain as much as you do.

But there are times when you look back and think, I did everything I said I would do. Because you work hard at being that person who genuinely cares, You are loyal, and you seek to understand.

Then you go to the questioning, your part 2. How do others feel it’s OK to treat you so badly when you have been nothing but honest and loyal? This goes for friendships, family, and relationships. While I get that pain is a part of life, many of us know this oh so well, you often worry what it is you did to deserve it. When God said that there will be trials and tribulations, I guess some of us were just hoping for that pass after a few too many.

So  here is my advice to those that have been hurt. Go back to the basics that make you who you are.

  • It’s OK not to always understand the why’s. Sometimes when people hurt you, it may have to do with their own insecurities and personal problems.
  • Move on and find how we can grow from it.
  • The people who genuinely LOVE you, will come through for you and be by your side.
  • It’s OK to grieve. But don’t let it stop you from moving forward.
  • SELF LOVE! Take care of yourself. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
  • Focus on your BLESSINGS.
  • Focus on your STRENGTHS.
  • SMILE more.
  • PRAY.
  • FORGIVE. It may not happen today, but do eventually forgive. It’s a crucial step to moving on.
  • Choose LOVE. 
  • Choose HAPPINESS.

Don’t let your pain define you. Reconnect with who you are. Focus on the moment. Focus on the ones who bring out the positive light within you. Take care of yourself.

“Loving ourselves is our dawn into the light of truly loving others.” 


Fuel The Soul Today





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