Two weeks ago, I was asked by a long time friend this question…
“How did you FIND your HAPPY?”
I knew the fast and simple answer was that I had to be BRAVE. Yes indeed, I had to be BRAVE.
But this is a question that I stared at and went back to almost daily since I received it. For some time, I knew I wasn’t living my best self. I wasn’t truly happy deep down. But people in your life and society in general can sometimes put pressure on you that life has to be lived a certain way and honestly…I once fell for it all.
I woke up one day and after many years of going through the motions, I realized enough was enough. I had this one life to live and I just wanted my HAPPY back! I wanted ME back. I wanted my daughter to see me TRULY HAPPY. I wanted everyone around me to see the best part of me.
After years of trying and searching, I knew what I had to do and I had to be BRAVE for me and my family. After a rough month of questioning my decision, I simply had to remember the end goal-TO BE HAPPY. I went for it and boy does it feel good!
But what about maintaining this happiness? For me, it’s the following:
- My #LittleLove. She is the most important person in my life and I love showing her the BEST me.
- Being Healthy. Eating healthy and exercising has given me so much more energy. I love cooking good food and sharing these cooking moments with my daughter. I also love that she sees me exercise and realizes how important a healthy lifestyle is to our family.
- Family. Although we are scattered all over the country, we keep in touch through texts and phone calls. I look forward to our annual gatherings and on a daily basis, I reflect on how thankful I am to have them in my life.
- Friends. Since I am away from most of my family, my friends have become a huge part of my life. It is extremely important to me that I make time for them, as they do for me.
- Work-life balance. It can be easy for me to stay on the computer all hours of the day and night working. But this year, I have learned to walk away (if not a work emergency) and take time for me. Whether it’s meeting my friend at the gym, or giving my daughter undivided attention, I try my best to have this balance.
- Surrounding myself with good people. I have little patience for negative people. Honestly, it’s exhausting.
- Never settle. Never…ever…settle. I know so many people who stay in relationships/friendships because it is convenient, because it is what they were taught to do. Nobody knows more than me what would truly make me happy. So my eye is always on the prize-happiness! I am at a stage now in my life that I am OK with walking away from anything that no longer brings me complete joy.
- Be passionate about something or someone. I love to travel. I love to cook healthy food. I love to exercise. Someone else’s passion might be baking, arts and crafts or gardening. Whatever it is, find your passion.
- Have “ME” time. I take time for me. I do not have a problem going to a movie or restaurant by myself. I love taking a few hours by myself to go on a hiking trail. I often hear my parent friends say: I don’t have the energy. I have kids to take care of. I have meals to make. I have never ending house chores. I don’t have time for friends. I make sure everyone else is happy and I look out for me last. Utilize your family and friends…it is OK to ask for help a few hours a week. I am a big believer that everyone needs time for themselves, to mentally unwind. Don’t feel guilty. Stop saying I can’t and just do it!
- Thankful. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for this beautiful life I have been given. I am truly blessed with a beautiful, fun daughter, a roof over my head, my health, a job, family, friends, etc. How can I complain?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk around 24-7 with this huge banner saying I am happy! There are days where my back hurts, I have migraines, I am exhausted from a long day of work, the piles of laundry have added up, etc. Yes, I will always have those moments just like everyone else. I am human. But deep down, I know if I take a step back and count my blessings, I am a lucky woman. My blessings make me happy.
Back to the question…how did I find my happy? I had to take a huge leap. I had to be BRAVE and I have zero regrets!
So to you my friend, I hope that you find your happy.