This is a repost from last year with a few updates. What can I say, it was on my mind.
A modern-day woman with a Jane Austen period state of mind?
I recently came across an adult who simply forgot their basic manners. You know, saying “thank you,” being friendly, being polite and so on… So while enjoying my weekend coffee, I started thinking, what happened to basic manners? And as I thought more on it, what happened to being a gentleman and lady? Is this a lost art in the 21st century?
Say it isn’t so!
In today’s age, when many of us women refer to ourselves as “strong, independent women ” and I do, does that mean that we can no longer appreciate a gentleman?
I don’t think so.
I may not be in the majority these days, but I still appreciate men who know how to treat women with some basic manners and exhibit gentlemen qualities. Even as a self-proclaimed strong woman, my mission in life is not to constantly challenge men and compete whenever possible. That just sounds exhausting! The only person I will compete with is myself, to make ME a BETTER person (personally and professionally). And not just men, I enjoy friendships with women who know how to empower one another. Women who not only TEACH their children manners, but also lead by example.
BE KIND, BE GRACEFUL and BE POSITIVE. Good manners signal that you have respect for others, and that you will rise to every occasion with grace.
To my friends, here is my random list of manners I still treasure:
Do say THANK YOU.
Act towards others as you want to be treated.
Put your phone away during meals.
Never just say hello when meeting people for the first time. Offer a kind greeting, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Give compliments with SINCERITY. (Not, I love your blouse and in your head thinking, I would never be caught dead…).
Dress appropriately. I admit, my love for fitness clothes can become overwhelming, but dress appropriately when the occasion calls for it.
Don’t talk with your mouth full (eeeeekkkkkk).
Do be GRACIOUS! (Unless the other person is a jerk, then run for the hills…run fast!)
Never act entitled or boast. “Did you see me pull up, I drive the $90k car parked outside.” (Uhmmm no, PLEASE drive it on home!) Boasting is huge turnoff for me.
Treat people with RESPECT.
Introduce people properly.
If you are invited to a party, ask what you can bring.
Traveling abroad, learn the country’s history and tradition.
Know that hypocrisy limits your thinking
I respect a man who takes off his hat in church, during prayer, during the national anthem, or during the pledge. I admit, restaurants for me depend on the type. Are we at the pub or a nice establishment? If at the pub, that really does not bother me.
I still love a man that pulls a seat out for a lady. Not necessarily in a work/board room setting, but during a date yes. (Oh married men, don’t stop because you put a ring on it already. She will always appreciate it. ) No woman wants to squeeze through high chairs at the bar because you sat first and pulled your chair in. Gahhhh
Rarely seen, I also appreciate a man that stands up from his chair when a lady leaves for restroom and holds the chair for her when she sits down or even gets up.
When it’s cold, do offer your coat.
When walking, the man should walk on the outside, closest to the street.
Do open doors and hold doors for people. Car doors…well ladies, I guess we have key fobs to thank for this dying art!
Ladies first at restaurants- for sitting and ordering.
When walking, don’t walk ahead and leave her in the dust. It’s awkward and simply weird.
Help a woman in and out of her coat.
A gentlemen keeps a woman’s secret.
A gentlemen walks a woman home or to safety.
A gentleman listens.
I recently read: “Manners are all about putting others at ease and thinking about others.” I agree. Maybe I am too much of a romantic. Maybe I am also caught in the middle of being this modern day era woman who still appreciates chivalry and class. Either way, I do know what I like.
What are some of the basic manners from men and women you have been missing? What are some “older traditions” you would like to disappear? I welcome your comments.
Disclaimer from the blogger: I will be the first to admit, that my LADY manners often fall to the waist side during football games. I will own this fully.
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